I believe that in our culture, we have been programmed from the time we enter kindergarten to “tell people things,” versus asking them questions. The trouble is that whether we realize it or not (and this next statement may sound harsh), failing to ask questions when we are engaged in a dialogue with someone, and then failing to actively listen to the answers, is the currency of the self-absorbed individual.
“Johnny, clean up your room or you’re going to lose your cell phone for an entire week,” said Mom! And you guessed it, Johnny fails to clean up his room because he has come to learn that Mom is simply making an idle threat. “Susie, this is the second time that I’ve told you to clean up your room, and if it’s not immaculate within the next 2 hours, I will suspend your cell phone privileges for an entire week, just as I did last month, said Mom.” Susie promptly goes about the business of cleaning up her bedroom, because she knows Mom is issuing a serious warning!
I am a big fan of technology, but I have become very selective about what technology I use, and how I use it. When email first came onto the scene, I was entirely enamored with it. I thought, “Wow, I can communicate with people, and not have to chase them down by playing phone tag!” And then texting came along and I had the same infatuation with it as I had with email.
Like it or not, other people begin to evaluate “who we are” in the first moment that they meet us. They then go about the business of looking for evidence to support their initial assessment. Our appearance is the first thing that is judged and if we fail that test, it’s pretty much game over. If we do pass that test, the minute that we open our mouths, they’ll instantly make a final decision about who they believe us to be.
A dose of information, motivation and inspiration.
