Self-Sabotage

I have a confession to make – many times in the past, I have fallen prey to this thing called “self-sabotage.” I first noticed this tendency when I was selling Real Estate full time. I would attack the marketplace each day with vigor, and do what was necessary to achieve success, and there was always a terrific outcome. For reasons I cannot fully explain, I then proceeded to stop doing those things that had been responsible for my success in the first place. As I reflected upon this self-inflicted disempowerment, I concluded that it was, at least in part, due to a feeling of unworthiness – a sense that I was only worthy of achieving a “certain amount” of success.

I struggled mightily with this dynamic until I finally concluded that I was incapable of transcending it alone. No amount of willpower, discipline, or commitment to myself would last for very long! It was not until I enlisted help from an experienced and enlightened Coach, that I moved beyond my own petty resistance.

In my case, growing up in a lower-middle-class family, I only felt worthy of achieving slightly more than what my parents had achieved. For the record, I am deeply grateful for always having had a roof over my head, and 3 meals each day. But invariably, whenever I had a good run of success, my brain would say to me (subconsciously, of course), this is not like you – you are on the lower middle-class of life’s prosperity scale! And so, the self-sabotage would begin anew! It took a great Coach to point out that I was so close to my own game that I was incapable of seeing it objectively.

If you find yourself struggling with this dynamic, my best counsel is that attempting to conquer it alone is destined to fail. Find a great Coach who can help you grow beyond it. And some prayer and contemplation in conjunction with great coaching will most assuredly expedite the process!

Am I willing to admit that when I experience great success, my own “I’m not worthy” mindset compels me to engage in self-sabotage?

© John G. 2021