My Core Values (thankfully) compel me to refrain from judging others, but I do miss the mark occasionally. However, I believe that it is entirely appropriate to judge someone’s behavior, versus judging “the person.”
I am continually shocked by the attitude that many so-called “leaders” have toward the people who are under their leadership umbrella. In many instances, these men and women view the people they lead as commodities to be exploited, in a maniacal effort to produce their own insatiable accomplishments and expand their (already) overly inflated egos.
Of the eight helicopters that set out in the early morning twilight to rescue the hostages, two lost their way en route to the target, a third suffered mechanical failure, and a fourth lost control during take-off and crashed. By the time the mission was aborted, eight U.S. Servicemen had died, and dozens more had been injured. An additional six aircraft were left behind, along with classified documents, which ended up in the hands of the Iranian government. Those six aircraft now serve in the Iranian Navy.
I believe that in our culture, we have been programmed from the time we enter kindergarten to “tell people things,” versus asking them questions. The trouble is that whether we realize it or not (and this next statement may sound harsh), failing to ask questions when we are engaged in a dialogue with someone, and then failing to actively listen to the answers, is the currency of the self-absorbed individual.
“Johnny, clean up your room or you’re going to lose your cell phone for an entire week,” said Mom! And you guessed it, Johnny fails to clean up his room because he has come to learn that Mom is simply making an idle threat. “Susie, this is the second time that I’ve told you to clean up your room, and if it’s not immaculate within the next 2 hours, I will suspend your cell phone privileges for an entire week, just as I did last month, said Mom.” Susie promptly goes about the business of cleaning up her bedroom, because she knows Mom is issuing a serious warning!
I am a big fan of technology, but I have become very selective about what technology I use, and how I use it. When email first came onto the scene, I was entirely enamored with it. I thought, “Wow, I can communicate with people, and not have to chase them down by playing phone tag!” And then texting came along and I had the same infatuation with it as I had with email.
Like it or not, other people begin to evaluate “who we are” in the first moment that they meet us. They then go about the business of looking for evidence to support their initial assessment. Our appearance is the first thing that is judged and if we fail that test, it’s pretty much game over. If we do pass that test, the minute that we open our mouths, they’ll instantly make a final decision about who they believe us to be.
Having grown up in a very troubled home environment, I learned very early on how to feel unworthy of love and connection. These feelings of low self-worth lingered well into adulthood until I was finally able to tame that beast! The truth is, that if it hadn’t been for my Uncle Dominick, whose love, and affection, were inexhaustible, I shudder at the thought of who I might have become.
As of this writing, a dear friend of mine is struggling with a very serious case of depression. This guy has been an incredible source of love and support in my life, and has been a beacon of Light during my darkest hours. He’s retired now, and when he is “himself,” he spends most of his waking hours serving others in a meaningful and impactful way. He has helped more people through the troubled waters of life than he even realizes. It is my great privilege and honor to know him.
There are many business owners who aspire to owning another business, or businesses. My observation has been that there are very few people who can own more than one business, and succeed in both or all of them. Enthusiastic and well-intentioned individuals often approach me with an “opportunity” – a way in which I could earn significant income in my spare time (and spare time for small business owners is up there with jumbo shrimp and government intelligence!).
A dose of information, motivation and inspiration.
